pregnancy weirds me out.

This week I was reading on baby center about my pregnancy.

It said something about how I should aim to gain {roughly} 12-14 pounds this trimester.

The key word in that sentence is "THIS" - which means within the next few months

I'll be packing on some L-B-S... and that TOTALLY freaks me out!

#1- Freaks me out because that's more than I've ever weighed

AND

#2- That's A LOT for such a short amount of time
(which totally gives me anxiety about stretch marks)

I know, I know! I'm soo weird! I'm pregnant...its OK to gain weight,
but I've always been such a control freak about working out and being fit... If my jeans felt snug,  I'd hit the gym a little harder and eat healthier... and because of that I've pretty much been at the same weight for about 7 years now. A weight I was comfortable with.

Now that's changing and for a health control freak- that's something that just 

weirds.me.out.

For the past month each week I've gotten on the scale and seen my weight increase

by 1 pound or so a week- which you're probably thinking "So? Good for you"

But whats really happening are my eyes POPPING out of my head
when I step on that dreaded ego killer.

This is a picture of me at 5 weeks. 

{Don't mind the half nakedness... I wanted a belly picture before it really started growing}

Here is me now at 4 1/2 months.

{picture taken this a.m. when I got off work}

(the bump is always bigger in the mornings now since I'm up all night)

Soo yeah, totally had a meltdown last week because of it all.
Go ahead, call me crazy pregnant...

My husband looked at my tummy and said "OH MY GOSH!"
 He pretty much couldn't get another word in when I immediately shot back with "I KNOW!!!"
...and then for some amazing prego hormone reason burst into tears.
Then he just sat there and hugged me while I literally bawled my eyes out
and said the only thing that could have probably put a smile on my face right then,
 "Babe, how about we go get you a donut?"


So thankful he's not completely deemed me as the crazy person that I am.
That he's so supportive and patient with me.
That he will buy me sympathy donuts when I'm having an emotional prego meltdown.
Literally makes me melt when he wraps his arms around me and whispers
"I'm holding my whole little family right here in my arms"

Here's to another 5 1/2 + months of an emotional roller-coaster ride!
In the months to come I'm going to try to enjoy this pregnancy for the beauty that it is...
Because it truly is a miracle and a blessing.
Because I have a feeling that I'll probably miss it a little once it's over
and I don't want to add this to the list of
"things I should have enjoyed more"

That list is already too long... and honestly this is life right here.
And what's life if you don't live it?